Off the grid

Only four months until I decide where my next adventure starts.

Tonight I took myself off the grid. As a healing process and a way to focus on myself, I deactivated Twitter and Facebook. I finally got rid of Google+ but thats because I was too lazy to figure out how to delete it when I first tried it out last year.

Having gotten that taken care of, I started contemplating not having a cellphone for a year.
A few years ago I was without a cell for about two months and I actually really enjoyed it. I knew who really wanted to get ahold of me because they found ways to contact without me. I liked not being tied to it.

I'll activate my Twitter account here eventually, but besides that and this blog, I should be unreachable social network wise and I like it.

Pits of Despair

My dad and step-mama are moving to the very far away state of Washington in about three weeks. Where has the time gone?!

Also my friend Stephanie is moving tomorrow and suddenly everything is hitting-my dad is leeeeeaving me!!!!!

To prepare I put in for some time off to wallow and downloaded "All By Myself" as my anthem for the week. I shall sing as I sit in my pod chair and take shots by myself. For I shall, truly, be....all by myself.

I'm being blatantly theatrical but I'm sure I'm going to be a blubbering mess in my dark wee baby apartment without the door.

Henny spoke for me and screwed me over

As if my day couldn't get off to a better start, let me say that alcohol is from the devil and will get you into a lot of trouble. There's a lot of fun involved also, but ultimately, trouble.

After a sleepless night and feeling blah in general, I get a series of text messages this morning from a friend where apparently I blabbed things she had told me in her relationship to a mutual guy friend who went and told her fiancé. What. The. Fuck.

Hold my hand? I'll make it sweaty

Following any break up is the inevitable question: "What do I do now?"

Most people gather around their support group and go out and drink away their problems.
I have a problem.
See, my immediate support group is 45 mins away and the whole whopping two people I hang out with outside of work is one who works a lot and is a boy and refuses to help me mourn since I do it at least once a week and the other is the sister of ex-boyfriend so I can't exactly hang with her and simply put-it's AWKWARD. As a result- hi! Hello! This is my long lost blog you're reading.

Now, the second part of my dilemma is that I moved to this small town a little four years ago with absolutely no intention of staying as long as I have. My only family here is moving to Washington state and I'm left wondering what my next steps are going to be. With my only ties to this town leaving, I have no desire to be stay. Why?

I still don't want to move back to my hometown, I would feel as if I regressed and started back where I left off.

While any break up is horrible, I feel the need to point out that mine is more horrible than the usual and it sucks.

My goal is to get out of here by the time my lease is up which means I have five months to get it figured out. I'm scared shitless.